“God will forgive you, do not forgive yourself,” is a quote I saw from the film Andrei Rublev, or at least the trailer of Andrei Rublev. "Every day I lay a foundation for building my repentance, and again with my own hands I demolish it." is another quote from Saint Ephraim the Syrian, an early church father. My temptation is to describe both of these quotes as based, and I think that is correct. 

I’m headed back to the monestary on Friday and I have no plan apart from being away from the actual plan, which is to say the conversation and repentence of the women’s group.

That’s an interesting word, repetence. When I think of it I think of flagellants, people whipping themselves for some percieved guilt, or at least that’s what I used to think about. Nowadays I think of the word Metanoia, which is the word in greek that is often translated as repentence. It means to turn away, to change one’s mind. That is the true point of Christian growth. It’s not to feel guilty for our passions and our place in the world, well, sometimes it is, guilt is a helpful tool, but it is a means to the end of change.