Roby hid my cross this morning.

She grabs it from my nightstand before I wake up and runs around with it. Sometimes she’ll loop it over her head for a second, other times she’ll put it in her mouth. This time she hid it in her diaper-basket. It took me a long time to find and I was stressed out the whole time I was looking. I hate losing things, it drives me insane to lose things. It is an awful, awful feeling.

In a huff I started cleaning the house a bit, it’s a damned mess, you know, with a one year old and work the way that it is. Just part of life at this stage, I guess.

I picked up a metal disk that Roby had carried into the living room from the kitchen and on my way to put it back, cut myself quite badly on it. It hurt and I bled a lot ad my first reaction was, thank God it was me who realized how damned sharp this thing was and not her.

Shortly before I bled through my bandage Abby found my necklace hidden in the diaper bag. I’m still relieved that it was me that got hurt and not her. The idea of her bleeding as badly as I did, her being cut and not understanding what that means or what to do with it or how to nurse a wound is agonizing even to consider.

So I won’t, I’ll just change my bandage.