What does Christmas mean? What does it mean to me? What does it mean to us? A close friend of ours decided they no longer celebrate Christmas, they celebrate solstice. Mostly I think that’s an effort to still have family time without denying the grandparents their holiday, it’s clever in that regard. But it does beg the question, what are we doing in December each year? Is it just an excuse to give one another gifts and be thankful for one another? A sorta colder thanksgiving with less emphasis on food and more emphasis on things?

I’ve never celebrated a Christmas with Christ at the center. I don’t think I’ve even really been to a Christ Mass, at the Catholic Church or the Anglican Church I used to visit as a kid.

This year all be different.

I don’t think the emotions have caught up, exactly. At a Saint Nicholas event for the Children the man acting as Saint Nick, my friend Stephen, talked to the kids about gifts, and he explained that the best gift in the world was what God gave us on Christmas, his Son, himself.

Now, the sacrifice and the miracle of defeating death doesn’t come for a while yet, not until Easter, and that’s the main Holiday, at least in Orthodox. But, suffice it to say, I think I’m still too tied up with family and gifts and snow and treats to really understand the spiritual impact of what these days in the dark of winter actually mean.

We’ve got Holy supper on Tuesday, Christmas Eve, and my brother’s coming. There’s Vespers after, and I know he’s not ever been to anything like that. Maybe the holiday and witnessing a family member witness this thing will be illuminating in some way, I don’t know. Then there’s Christmas mass the next morning, is that tautological? Probably.

In any case, I’m looking forward to trying to refocus myself, to drill down into what is happening in my heart and in the world.

The way I’ve been thinking about this whole thing is really simple: God has written himself into the story of his creation in order to explain the world in a way that, might not be understandable, but is actionable, it’s something we can feel and be changed by. And Christmas marks a change in that sort of story. I won’t say it’s the start, because it isn’t, but it’s a change. It’s direct and it’s good, and we ought to be thankful for it.