I made a few icons for friends at church. I gave them out sort of casually at supper, I didn’t give them to everyone as I’m not equally close to everyone and it might’a felt a little odd to give a gift to some of these people, it would have made them uncomfortable. But it was a little awkward to give them to not everyone to, it felt a little rude. It reminded me, of course, of the rules for kids, only give out gifts when you have enough for everyone, et cetera.

Anyways, it was fine.  I’m sure any awkwardness was of my own invention.

The gifts all took a while to make, and they were made in the cold. They didn’t cost much, or hardly anything as I had the wood, bought for cheap, and the laser cutter costs next to nothing to run, if it’s working. The real cost was sanding them out in a cold shop with numb fingers. I guess the gold leaf cost something.

But gifts, like almost everything, are subjective. I think they were good gifts, beautiful and made by me and for people with good notes. Done thoughtfully for people I care about for no reason but doing something nice. If I were a multi millionaire, I suppose they’d still be nice, but they wouldn’t be as nice. If I were a multi-millionaire I think I’d commission an icon for the church around Christmas time, but I’m not, so I suppose I’ll have to learn to make them, and then to make them.

When I was Chrismated I chose Saint Joseph as my patron. He’s the iconic father figure, other than, you know, The father, but that’s different. In most of his icons he’s shown holding Jesus on his shoulder(s), which is how I hold Roby all the time. It is one of my favorite things and that simple representation humanized Christ and Joseph and the faith so deeply and completely that I had to choose it.

Father Mark asked why I chose that icon, and when I explained my simple reasoning, the congregation laughed, I think they expected something a bit headier from me. The lack of headiness is precisely what I love about this new journey. It is incredibly simple. I’m well aligned with Lewis and Kirkegard in that regard.

That simple reasoning must have resonated with at least one person in church because they got me a small, beautiful icon for Christmas. A print reproduction of the flight out of Egypt. Jesus is on Joseph’s shoulders, that’s why she got it for me. This person is quite sick, and deeply poor. With a history of profound mental ilness and the heart and hands of an artist, this gift meant a great deal. I can’t imagine it cost all that much, but to her it must have been quite a sacrifice. And I think that’s what really makes a gift, sacrifice. Sacrifice to a scale that you really feel.

This gift from some other friends would mean almost nothing, a trifle, but from her, it’s a treasure. To think that we won’t be judged within our context seems wrong.

I signed a lot of my Christmas gifts with a simple notion: We live in a world governed by love, and inhabited by human stories.

I think that’s true.