The blog isn’t a priority in a way it might’ve been…two years ago. How wild, two years of writing this public diary, which is the most honest and accurate way of describing what this is and likely always has been. It may have been slightly more thought provoking and provoked by thought towards the beginning, but not by a whole heck of a lot. Always the rambling of a soon to be and recently dad-ed.

So much has changed since I began this writing practice, more than feeling comfortable missing a day or two, here or there. Though I always make it up, in the end, as I’m doing now.

The biggest change is attending church,

Obviously.

I’m writing this in the car as we drive away from Liturgy, and it was a good one.

The joke(s) from Father Mark, the familiarity with everyone, the friendliness and gratitude and energy of it all. The transition and meandering from the holy silence of the space into the comradely of the potluck. It’s all brought into sharper contrast by what my last week looked like: in a word, lonesome. The girls were gone, the few friends I have were away or busy or sick. I saw family and it was nice, but there wasn’t much in the way of a sense of community. I’m not sure I ever had that. When I was in school I had a kind of competitiveness with the people there, and a judgment that came with that, of the institution. Saint Jacob’s is nothing like that.

The medium is the message.