Self pity is my primary sin, I think. When I’m down, that’s what’s getting to me. Woe is me, I oughta feel bad, everything’s shit, you should feel bad and you don’t owe nothing to nobody, that’s how bad it is. It’s a ridiculous way to be, considering the gifts I enjoy, far more than I deserve. 

Far, far more than I deserve. 

But still I complain, and an awful lot, really. When things aren’t tip top, when money isn’t brimming, when all my needs aren’t met, damn, I’ll complain, even if it’s mostly to myself. Even if those needs are treasures I hadn’t even experienced until recently, not having them will find me a sore little bastard about it. 

It’s embarassing. 

If embarassement were more helpful, I think I’d try to cultivate it more in myself in these moments, but it isn’t. When I’m feeling down the only thing to do is forget about it, move on, and think about gratitude. That’s really it.