︎ zazen bozo ︎


︎︎︎ June 26th, 2023 ︎︎︎


I have undeniably seen more human faces and smelled more human perfumes in the past 24 hours than any other such window of time or geography in my entire life.

Even when I was living on (in?) Manhattan back in 2012 it lacked the sheer frenetic confusion and agression of a San Francisco super-mall, SFO international, Newark Airport, and Penn station in a single day. 

My cancelled flight turned an approximately 1.5 hour flight into a 7 hour layover in Penn station, an 8.5 hour train ride from New York to Burlington, and a perhaps 20 minute drive to the airport before I get to my car to drive an hour back to Plainfield. 

9am arrival to 11pm arrival. 

I was given the generous offer of a place to stay in Burlington so I can rest after what will be approximately 36 hours of travel. As nice as that sounds I suspect I will either burst into flames or dribble into a puddle if I don’t get home as soon as physically possible. Maybe both. 

In Santa Barbara we discussed our favorite words. I said mine was Circumambulate. To walk in circles around something, usually in a reliigous manner. 

One of my coworkers said theirs was misanthrope. 

Food for thought.

My current “phone” is an ipad mini. I cannot comfortably carry it around, especially when I am laden with as much luggage as I have to drag around currently (it flanks me as I write in this corner of Penn Station). This is the point. I want it to be annoying to use so that I don’t use it. 

This leaves me to enjoy things like people watching as I walk around looking for coffee or food. 
For not the first time I am struck by the curious juxtaposition of being struck by an almost overwhelming empathy and even agape for every stranger I see, and a gut wrenching revulsion and desire to run away from them. The fact that there is nowhere to run without droves of people in the way speaks to my growing discomfort.

I can see approximately 83 people without turning my head right now as I write this from the “ticketed waiting area.” That is too many people. 


Bozo