︎ zazen bozo ︎


︎︎︎ July 21st, 2023 ︎︎︎

I forgot my camera.




I had it plugged in before our trip to Burlington and I forgot it on the counter. There’ll be no new pictures, just thoughts written down before bed.

Abby and I have defined a thing as “hard” when you’d rather not be doing it. If you’re totally comfortable with the thing and it’s circumstances, it’s probably not hard. It’s only when you’d earnestly prefer not to be doing it or having to endure it, that it is hard. Things can be painful, difficult, complicated, dangerous, and much else besides, and not be hard. Easy things can be hard, quick things can be hard, even pleasurable things can be hard.

I wonder then about generosity.  
Can you be generous if you’re not giving up something you’d rather not?
Money, time, sweat, comfort, quiet.
If you’re not sacrificing something you’d like to keep, are you really being generous? When a rich man gives away more money than I will ever see in my lifetime, but does not have to appreciably change his lifestyle, is that generosity?

It feels related to sacrifice in the Biblical sense.
There is a reason you were called to sacrifice your favorite lamb, not the lame one. If you aren’t going to miss your sacrifice, why would God care to have it?

Generosity, when it is truly so, is a sacrifice.
It is in the difficulty of true generosity that the narrowness of the way is revealed. If Jesus is a shepard it is because we are sheep. We are too stupid to see that if we can just keep walking through difficult terrain we’ll end up at greener pastures. 

But being generous sucks!
Making sacrifices means I have less for myself!
The grass was just fine over there!
It’s scary and I don’t know where I am, and I want to go home!


How exhausting it must be to listen to the tireless bleeting of a flock that doesn’t know what’s good for it. 



Bozo