It appears that I get sick when Abby’s mom is around. She doesn’t make me sick, the sickness doesn’t start after she arrives, the timing just works out that some illness or other is just ramping up as she’s planning a visit. I’ve had psuedo-gout caused by a wound, I’ve had fevers and chills and coughs and sniffles...it’s a thing. I don’t know why it is, but it is. 

A Jungian would have a field day with the synchronicity of it, I guess. I myself am not sure what to make of it. A coincidence, or something like that. 

I was listening to my favorite podcast, The Blindboy Podcast, an episode recommended by a friend. She pointed out that he seems to be almost a nihilist, he thinks that the world is all chaos, while simultaneously pointing out the wealth of synchronicity, metaphor, beauty, and...meaning. Meaning in a meaningless world. He seems to believe that the meaning we project is an illusion, light across a screen with no barring on reality, no purpose, and no real effect. 

She disagrees with him, and I disagree with him. I think she brought it up because she was curious how I can like him as much as I do if we hold such radically different worldviews. I suppose that could be a question asked of most of his audience as almost nobody really believes that the world is naught but chaos.

Hell, I kind of doubt he actually believes it in his heart of hearts. When we are at our most vulnerable, our most afraid, or anxious or existential is often when we are at our most occluded, but it can also be when we are at our most honest and truthful. 

When I feel sad or scared I don’t think the world is without meaning. And I don’t think it when I’m feeling good, either.