This project has cemented the fact that I have ADD more solidly than any defecit of attention ever could have. It’s all I can think about. I get my work done, I feed myself, and I attend to this monstrosity. I’ve been bad about doing dishes, I’ve hardly checked my phone. While I’m falling asleep, or in a lapse of conversation, I’m trying to work through how the floor will work, or the roof, how I’ll get 12’ long 8”x2”s 10’ feet in the air by myself, how I’ll do the joinery, how much to rely on my 3D model.
I find it strange that my form of ADD, and I imagine many other people are similar, isn’t so much a lack of attention or bandwidth, but more of a binary switch. Either I am easily distracted and doing multiple things at once to fill my attention, or I am monomaniacally obsessed with a single task for which I will ignore food, sleep, and anything, really.
There’s a spectrum to it, of course. If I am in that obsessive state with say, a 3D model it’s easier to take breaks or be semi-present and hold perhaps 25% of a conversation. But if it’s a physical activity it’s hopeless. I’ve continued shingling an all but useless duck house until it was dark and I was bleeding at both hands. That is how difficult it is for me to quit a job I know how to do, and can see the end of.
That’s the critical bit: I’ve got to know how to do it. It doesn’t need to be second nature or easy, but I do need to be confident. It doesn’t have to be totally clear, but I need have a direction forward. This structure is perfect for that. I know how to use these tools well enough, I’ve got the principles down, but I’ve never done anything like this before. I make mistakes, I’m already full of ideas for how I’d handle it differently next time (there won’t be a next time) but I’m pretty happy with how it’s coming along.
I find it strange that my form of ADD, and I imagine many other people are similar, isn’t so much a lack of attention or bandwidth, but more of a binary switch. Either I am easily distracted and doing multiple things at once to fill my attention, or I am monomaniacally obsessed with a single task for which I will ignore food, sleep, and anything, really.
There’s a spectrum to it, of course. If I am in that obsessive state with say, a 3D model it’s easier to take breaks or be semi-present and hold perhaps 25% of a conversation. But if it’s a physical activity it’s hopeless. I’ve continued shingling an all but useless duck house until it was dark and I was bleeding at both hands. That is how difficult it is for me to quit a job I know how to do, and can see the end of.
That’s the critical bit: I’ve got to know how to do it. It doesn’t need to be second nature or easy, but I do need to be confident. It doesn’t have to be totally clear, but I need have a direction forward. This structure is perfect for that. I know how to use these tools well enough, I’ve got the principles down, but I’ve never done anything like this before. I make mistakes, I’m already full of ideas for how I’d handle it differently next time (there won’t be a next time) but I’m pretty happy with how it’s coming along.