I have loads of opinions about loads of things. From the best color for a piece of clothing (Indigo Blue, and sometimes lemon yellow or onion orange) to what the best video game is (text based and as strange as possible and invariably science fiction). These opinions are subjective and not some comment on the broader injustices afoot or desecrations of the world. Most of my opinions are that; largely matters of taste.

But not all of my opinions are that, some of them are based on how I think the world oughta be. One spicy (to some people) example is abortion. It essentially boils down to this: is poverty so hideous in this country, our services for unwanted or accidental children so abysmal, that we should just euthanize them instead?

That appears to me to be the fundamental boiled down reality of the question of abortion.

That being poor is so awful

That being abused is so unavoidable

That it would be kinder to just kill you instead.

I wrote a bunch about my opinions about abortion here then deleted it because that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. The point I’m trying to make here is that I feel pretty strongly that abortion is invariably bad. That’s a matter of my world view being different from the main stream. And the main stream is very main. I am in the minority in my community, my state, and my country. By and large we think abortion is a thing that, while sad, is pretty much necessary to the operation of an “enlightened” modern society.

Being in the minority does less than nothing to soften my opinion on this matter.

Everybody thinking it’s okay does not make me think those people are any more sane or moral.

They aren’t. They’re wrong.

I get that it’s complicated.

An America with no abortion whatsoever would potentially be an America with more dead children and mothers and more suffering.

But I am not a Utilitarian.

Enough about abortion.

Another subject about which I disagree with almost everyone in my community, state, and country is childcare.

I’ve joked with some frequency that, while I intend for Kinderholden to be as awesome as possible, I’d never send Roby there for the simple fact that I am completely uncomfortable with someone other than me or Abby raising her. From both a perspective of protecting her and selfishness: I want to witness and shape every moment within my power.

There’s risks associated with that, of course, but again, that is not the point of this post (which I am writing on the way to church, which should tell you something about my conservatism).

We’ll see what spending every day with a bunch of kids is really like. Maybe it’s horrible and I’ve made a hideous miscalculation. Or maybe it really is my calling. Let’s assume that it is.

Is the strength of my conviction merely a side-effect of it being my God-given and blessed vocation?

If my calling were, say, leather working or glass blowing or investment banking would I be doing my children or myself a favor by spending all of my time doing that instead of with them?

I’ve made the point previously, at least in conversation, that when a person is infertile it is a tragedy. Their bodies have denied them perhaps the best part of being human. When a person -chooses- not to have children that strikes me as a far more disturbing tragedy for it is their minds and their hearts that have denied them that opportunity. Am I being an asshole in saying that?

Obviously infertile people exist and God doesn’t hate them and hasn’t denied them a sacred life, therefore having children is not require to live well. So maybe it is just my bias and my vocation and my blessing.

I suppose if I were to send Roby to spend all her time with some bearded weirdo I’d want them to be as obsessive about it as I am.