The last time I left the monastery I knew that I’d be coming back in two weeks. This time I’m pretty confident it’ll be a year until I return, though at this moment, still heady from my time there, I’d like to go back a lot sooner. I doubt I’ll go this winter, maybe in the spring? Part of me thinks that visiting for the middle of lent might be an interesting thing to do, but it feels slightly wrong to do something I enjoy as much in the middle of a season of repentance and sacrifice. I might not even be welcome, I’m not sure, I’d have to ask.

Abby had a nice time, and so did I.

As prayerfulness and the spiritual life becomes more central to us getting to spend time with people so unabashed in their commitment feels incredibly freeing. It’s important to me, this stuff, and it’s fresh. If it were a video game or a new job or a new toy or a new favorite movie I would be talking to my coworkers about it, and my friends, but religious faith seems to make people uncomfortable. At best they joke about it in a friendly way. I’m frankly a little surprised by how offended I’ve gotten about some of these jokes, but that’s probably something for me to deal with.

Anyways Jack wrote a blog post about the place Hate has in the heart of a Christian. Mostly with regards to hating the things that are opposite of the things we love. He cited a few quotes from the book of Matthew where Jesus is particularly unhappy with the way some people are. Rereading them, it feels mostly like natural parenting. He isn’t threatening anyone, if you do this I’ll do X or Y, it’s more that he’s explaining the natural consequences: if you touch the stove, you will get burned, which hurts. If you live your life away from me, you deny yourself the only joy of any meaning or substance, which hurts.

I don’t think that’s the same thing as hating their behavior.

I don’t Hate when Roby touches a hot pan, I’m not sure hate is the word for how I feel about her getting hurt, either.

I have no answers or counterpoints, he brings up some interesting things and I am not the lay-theologian that he is, nor do I want to be. I like being slightly stupid. Maybe one day I’ll be smart enough to worry about taking offense or fighting or hating, but for now I think I ought to focus every bit of my energy on loving correctly, loving the way we have been commanded to love.

Maybe I’ll find myself in a situation where someone I love is being hurt by something I hate and I’ll have to do something about it. I bet that’ll happen sooner than later. And honestly, as my time in the church brings more and more meaning and more and more joy and more and more purpose and more and more community into my life, and as I watch the opposite by true for many of the secular people in my life, how am I going to feel about the difficult work of evangelism?