As I recall it, the main character of the William Morris novella “News From Nowhere” realizes he is in something of a socialist utopia when he comes across a scene of several men digging a ditch. Not particularly charming work, digging ditches. It’s sweaty and dirty and you don’t get much to show for it apart from a hole in the ground, but these men were doing it with smiles on their faces. Their wives or crushes were sipping wine and singing in the grass nearby and the labour was made easy by the community they shared. 

I felt a little bit like that today as I took a break from rebuilding an old window to watch Robinia play in a kiddie pool. 

My friend David, and really I ought to call him my “good friend David”, that’s what’s appropriate after a person’s spent one of their days off to help you toil in the rancid dust and insulation of an old addition to your house, came by and helped me to toil in the rancid dust and insulation of an old addition to my house. 

He showed me how to remove a wall and replace it safely, how to frame out windows and build around wiring, and he showed me how to do all of it without pulling out any of my hair at all, there was no hair pulling, there wasn’t even any huffing or any puffing, even though there were plenty of mistakes to huff and to puff about.

Something about working with a friend prevents the frustration I can be subjected to while working alone or working with Abby. They say that children misbehave most severely with the parent they’re most comfortable with, because they know they can push their limits, theirs and their persons. I’m reluctant to show my good friend how much of a childish ass I am by getting frustrated at myself for cutting a board too short or misplacing my tape measure. 

This is just one of countless reason that cultivating community is so beautiful a thing, so important so helpful and so human. We aren’t meant tobe out on our own, we’re meant to cultivate audience and friends, aspirations and embarassement and envy and joy and respect. We should do hard things with our friends.