︎ zazen bozo ︎


︎︎︎ September 12th, 2023 ︎︎︎


I remember back in college friends would go home after exams and immediately get sick. When you have a thing to do, you keep fighting to do it. It’s like that Kill Bill quote:

The number one killer of old people is retirement.


Now that I’m done with the shed, or done enough, I’m feeling under the weather: coughy, sniffely, cloudy. I don’t have this thing dragging me out of doors so all that hard work’s catching up with me while I’m inside. 

There’s a saying that blindboy’s mentioned a few times: human beings can endure almost anything, as long as they have a sufficient why. I’m paraphrasing but it’s close enough. We need something to give us a reason to keep moving, without it, it’s already over. We live off of patterns, we’re built of them. It’s not as though we’re simply good at seeing patterns, patterns are the only thing we can see. 

These two facts feel related. 

What is a goal but an incomplete pattern we can see in our lives? Without any more pattern to see, we are blind to our futures, and when we are blind, we fall. 

Figuring out what the right goal is is more of a trick than we realize. This blog gets its name from the difficulty of just such a task. Some Japanese Sarrarimen dedicate their entire lives to a goal they do not understand, and once achieved, resent it. Choosing the wrong goal feels somehow worse than not achieving the right one.  

Bozo