Before Robinia was born a bunch of people I don’t know that well warned me about how hard and not fun it would be, I have written about this many times.
I questioned and disliked those comments then, and I hate them now. Seriously, if you’re feeling that way and wanting to say it to a prospective parent, save yourself the embarrassment you absolute dweeb. What an insult to yourself and to your children. I want to bully you like a mid-century jock, kicking sand on your towel.

Pfft

This dork thinks the facet of Divine Grace he’s been entrusted with is a drag

DINGUS

Get a load’a this chump, he thinks that goodness has’tuh be pleasurable t’be Good.

DILLWEED.

Bring back bullying.

Just before Roby’s second birthday a deacon (Catholic)(derogatory) warned us about the terrible twos.

Oh, you’re little angle is about to kick your butt

Oh, you think she’s so sweet, just wait

Just wait

Just wait

JUST WAIT

Man,

Oughta go back there and give that silk-w cearinghump a swirly.

If I hear another parent say “just wait” in a context that isn’t in bubbling excitement I’m going to give them an Indian rug burn so hard that they have to go to the ER.

Roby has been a sensitive grumbly screaming little freak these last few months. It is the best. She is super grumpy if she has to pee, and she hates going pee, and the grumpier she is, the more she hates it. You can see the problem.

If she goes too long without seeing mom, she’ll be in a good mood, but the second she sees mom, all the feelings she’s been holding on to all day come exploding out, and it can last a long time.

She is a saint learning how to be in her body and in the world, and it is our nearly unfathomable gift to witness and help her do this. To witness and hold that with joy and love is as clear an insight into the love of Christ as we can ever have.

So if I ever catch you complaining about it, I am going to give you a wedgie you won’t soon forget.